I am posting this personal journal entry to encourage readers. We will face difficulties in this life. (John 16:33). It is okay to express your innermost thoughts to your heavenly Father. I am an advocate of journaling. Even now, reading this entry in my journal from December 12, 2011 is a great reminder that God keeps His promise. And because He kept His promise to be with me through the difficult times in my life, I am to encourage you...Wait on the Promise. God is with you, and His promise to never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) through tough times is true. I'm a witness!
At the moment, I’m really trying to grasp the purpose of this place.
For so long, I’ve been haunted by this struggle. So, I ask, is it my fault? What did I do to cause this cycle? I can imagine how Job felt to some extent. However, I must pause and say, Thank You, it’s not as bad as his ordeal and suffering. Yet, the weight of this can be so frustrating. I’m trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel…
I know You said You would never leave or forsake Your children. All I have at this point is Your Word—Your promise. Will you fail me now? I know without a doubt that You are in control of my life. I know now that You own everything! I understand that You will and can provide for all my needs. So then, what is my issue? My question is when?
It is about Your timing. You know the needs I have— I also know that for so, so long, I have always tried to manage things myself. I know that I cannot, so will You please come quickly to my rescue?
Does my crying make You come before Your time? I think not! Is it pity that pushes these tears through so forcefully? Probably.
I admit, I feel so alone; that I really don’t have another person on earth to help me since my mother went home to be with You. I know You do not cater to pity parties. But You do understand tears of sorrow.
So what do I do? Have faith—that is what moves You to respond to my need. So, Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief.
My soul clings to You…
Journal entry, 12/12/11, © 2021. Queen E. Phillips. All rights reserved.