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Holiday Season Pain

It's personal for me!



"I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the LORD."

-Psalm 40:1-3

I’m always concerned about the emotional and spiritual needs of people during the holiday season. I’m always concerned about the emotional and spiritual needs of people during the holiday season. I believe this time of the year strikes a chord of great concern with me because I understand the heartbreak caused by the death of a loved one during the holiday season.

For me, it was the death of my mother the day after Christmas. We'd spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in hospice. I still remember it as if it was last night, although it has been 19 years since I experienced the “first” worst day of life, December 26, 2003, 12:01 a.m.

The pain was excruciating just at the thought that I would be left alone! It had always been my mom and me after my grandmother went home to be with the Lord when I was 15. She was the greatest example of a single mother when it was scowled upon, especially in a small country town haunted by gossip and lies. She stood strong as a woman of faith in God and in the power of His might. She overcame much adversity and emotional pain. Now that I always seek to see things from God’s perspective, I choose to believe that God favored her with grace and mercy by extending her life far beyond the doctors’ prognosis.

Amazingly, her physical pain was lessened to compensate for all the emotional pain she had suffered throughout her life. For that, I am grateful! It was from this spiritual perspective and grateful attitude that sustained me in days prior to her transition, and certainly afterward. Yes, there were days I did not get out of bed. Sorrow almost paralyzed me! Yet, the Holy Spirit within me fought against the spirits of depression, rejection, and abandonment that were already lurking to consume me. Thank God for the work of the Holy Spirit!

Unlike the psalmist, I did not wait patiently for the Lord to help me. It was the Spirit within that gave me the strength to endure patiently. Indeed, He cried out for me during my weakest moments of desperation. There were times I was too weak and low to cry out for myself! He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the sinking sands of sorrows. He set my feet on solid ground. His Word was my Rock, the foundation that steadied me as I walked day by day, trusting Him to help me get through each day. He gave me a song to sing; praise became my weapon of defense against the fiery darts of depression, discouragement and feelings of loneliness. While darkness vied to rule my soul, the Light of the Word penetrated the darkness. The Lord raised me up! I felt His unconditional love. I embraced His invigorating presence and became addicted to it. I was revived. I was restored from my brokenness.

To this day, I am persuaded that there is nothing greater than being in the Presence of the Lord. I became convinced that my mother had to be enjoying the fullness of God’s Presence in glory! I believed she was ready to be absent from her decaying body and to be present with the Lord (2 Cor. 5:8; Rev. 14:13).

I can identify with you. Because of my painful past during Christmastime and having to face the New Year without my mother, I know how bad it hurts. The onslaught of emotions pierces your heart, and you feel helpless and hopeless. Believe me. I know! Here is the good news. Since I experienced the supernatural peace and comfort of God, I can inspire others and encourage you to trust the Lord to carry you through your difficult days of sorrow and grief, one day at a time. I am a witness that God will help you when you cry out to Him. If He did it for me, He will do it for you. He does not love me any more than He loves you. Have faith in God!

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows].” Psalm 147:3 AMP

Broken and restored,


© 2014, 2019, 2022 Queen E. Phillips. All rights reserved. A Majestic Publication.

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